Here are some things I have learned from you...
- You only have chosen quotes that are necessary to support your answer the most.
- Some features to edit are punctuation and more supports needed for some ideas and sentences. In the second sentence, adding comma between ‘name’ and ‘she’ like “When Esperanza describe her name, she said~” would have helped you be clear on what you are trying to say.
- We have to separate dependent clause and independent clause by using a comma. “When Esperanza described her name,” is dependent clause, because it has “When”.
- I would have understood nothing if I read your answer without looking at the question.
- Grammar error is in the first sentence, first line. ‘Show off’ is a verb, but you have put an article ‘a’ in front of ‘show off’. I looked on dictionary, and a noun of person who shows off should be written as ‘show-off’.
- …try to explain things in details. You have used quotes and some of your own ideas; however, they are not fully explained to persuade readers. Especially for the last sentence, how do you know that she felt said about the quote above? This part has to be explained.
- 95% of your answer is quotes. Quotes don’t explain everything. You must add explanations of your own to support those quotes.
- … To get stronger evidence, you can explain about muddy color first, so you can say “muddy color is dull and has negative meaning, so number nine also has negative meaning”…
- … How does the fact that cat can go anywhere prove Cathy want to make her cat a big deal?
- [on Gamma] I think that's a good thing to use your knowledge. Keep doing it. I want you to add something. You have to add bracket that tells the page number after you use the text clues.
- [On Beta] She is not sure about her answer. The most sentences have the verb ‘I guess… and I think…’. It makes to think she is uncertain in her answer.
- [On Gamma] Firstly, he did not put the page number. We can’t know which page it is. I think he used many quotes, so I can’t see his opinion exactly.
- [on Epsilon] Epsilon did not make a sentence. He just answered by words.
- The most important mistake is that Delta didn’t understand the points of the question! The question is asking what might be “cats” a metaphor for, but Delta didn’t answer about it.
- The most things of the sentence are quotes. Epsilon just copied everything from the book instead of put his/her opinions about the question. Epsilon needs more specific information to show his/her opinion, and Epsilon needs to condense the quotes.
- [on Alpha] Also, we can make the first line into a sentence by putting conjunction which is “and” instead of putting commas like "Esperanza is speaking on page 12 and she is talking to Cathy." She used lots of commas. I think the purpose of doing this is either expands the numbers of the words or length of the sentences.
- [on Beta] He did well on adding his own thinking into the answers. But I think Beta can add more explanation onto it for example on the last sentence he can add more, maybe write another short conclusion,
- [on Gama] …and some of her sentences doesn’t make sense, for example “This part determines she don’t think she does not want to be friend.” ‘She’ is third person, which should use "doesn’t" not "don’t", and she does not to be friend with who?
- And how could Alpha know that Cathy thinks Esperanza is poor? Which part shows Cathy thinks Esperanza is poor?
- I put Delta at the last because, in Delta’s answers there aren’t any quotations. Quotations is one of the basic things needed in a answer of reading comprehension question. Because quotations is use to support your ideas, which can convince to the teacher your answer is correct. But Delta have no quotations.
- [on Alpha] she should add “and” after she finished the first sentence, and carry on with the color, so it wouldn’t be weird.
- [on Gamma] The answer need more link between all the small answer to each question. It is confusing if you are talking about this question and the next minute you skip to another: the readers can get really confuse.
- [On Epsilon] Almost all of the answer is quote. Student really needs to practice on this. Really. He should use less quotes and more evidence.
There are plenty more points below....