Student Response: Alpha
For the most part, my sentence lengths, including the longest sentence, shortest sentence, and average sentence, all show a good correlation with that of professional's. We both have very long sentences up to 45 words and very short ones as few as 4 words. This shows good sentence length variation and sentence structure diversity. This variation is very important to the reader rhythmically and pace. It would be trite reading the same sentence structure for ten sentences in a row. Both the professional and I spread out our short sentences and long sentences randomly to give the reader variation in every paragraph. The compared passages are fundamentally different and probably shouldn't be compared side by side because my essay was an expository piece on a historical event, while the professional's was a poetic narration filled with details. Another minor difference is that most of my sentences (more %) falls in the average sentence’s length. And the professional's has slightly more variation with very short sentences and very long sentences.
Student Response: Beta
The professional's longest sentence is 41 words which is a really long sentence which sounds slightly like a run on sentence…. The sentences are long in order to create vivid descriptions....the professional makes prominent use of similes to describe the sound of the music box. It is first described as “It's like drops of water”. This description allows the reader to imagine a fluid and peaceful sound. It is further described as “like marimbas only with a funny little plucked sound to it”. This links back to the character's Mexican heritage as marimbas originate from the country. Lastly the sound is described as “like if you were running your fingers across the teeth of a metal comb”. This puts emphasis on the antiquity as it has a metallic, worn out sound.
Student Response: Delta
Length of paragraphs are similar as well, but the number of sentences in the paragraphs have a distinct difference.
Student Response: Gramma
My sentences are much longer than those of professional's. That might be the result of horrible organization and failed use of complex sentences. I should use more concise and clearer sentences. My longest sentence is not as long as that of the professional, and the shortest not as short. That means I should focus more on sentence variety in the future.